What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?

I usually sleep over one of mi sides, but that night I layed over my back to look up and implore an answer. I fell asleep in that position with my fingers entwined and a question looping in my head “What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?…”

My options were: finding a cheaper place to rent within 3 weeks, look for someone to borrow money from, or traveling all the way back to my hometown and stay at my mom’s house. The first one was a challenge, It took me about six months to find that studio room because the city is always crowded with college students coming from all over the country to study here (not for nothing is called “La ciudad universitaria”). The second option could extend my time to figure out what to do, but adding bills without guarantee was totally out of my comfort zone thereby it wasn’t a real solution. The third option would have meant quit my job and take a huge step back on my way towards independence.

The next day I went out to have a normal day and happened a series of things that had never happened to me. Long story short, I end up at airport by the afternoon, not because of the third option but for other reason. However, doing the line to talk with the ticket seller I pondered deeply. Is this the signal? Is this your answer? Should I take this opportunity to book a flight?.

Suddenly my phone rings, which is weird because I always have it on vibrate mode (I use to receive complains about that, but I really hate a phone ringing, I try to keep close to feel it but still I miss some calls), but again, nothing about that day was usual so it didn’t quite surprised me. It was a friend from college, that kind of friend that no matter the time that pass without contacting, you trust them. And he said,

-Hey are you busy?

– Swamped! but shoot me, what’s up?

– Ok, I’ll keep it short then, I know the last time we talked you said you were happy where you live but I have an aunt that has a big apartment close to my house, I know it sounds expensive but she doesn’t need the money, she only wants someone reliable to take care of the place, so just because it’s you, she said you can rent it and set the price you can afford, are you interested?

– Yes! Yes! Yes!

– Does that mean: Yes, I am interested and I am going to think about it?

– No, It means. Yes, I am moving!

– What?

– I have to go, I’ll call you later!

It was my turn to talk with the lady, and I made a tremendous effort to focus on doing what I went to do, but inside I was crying a river. And no, I wasn’t there to book a flight.

I thought about all the things that had to happen for all that be possible. Starting from college, when I made that friend and become close to their family, or his aunt buying that apartment (not to mention all what she have had to live that lead her to leave but not sell the place), to the moment when he decided to make that call, right at my breaking point. No way!, there is not a reasonable explanation, everything was so unusual, so complex and extensive series of events, it couldn’t be anything but GOD.

I was just asking for wisdom to choose the least bad option. I wasn’t expenting such a bless. Now I wonder, are our lives already written? Maybe our decisions are reduced to just those critical moments. Should we spend all the money we make on things that make us happy? Or should we save money for a future that we don’t know how much longer is going to be? Should we consider changing something in our lives that is simply “Ok” but does not really fill our soul? Or should we appreciate what we have and not give it for granted?

Of course, there is not one single answer, we all cannot do the same, it would be crazy. So in my case, what I do is always ask to the one and only that never fails. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?


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